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cjmarlowePrevious Part
Jensen Ackles looked perfectly normal. The whole way down into the city Jared had been wondering what was wrong with him, if he was disfigured in some way, or chronically ill, or in some other way unable or unwilling to interact with other people. But when Jared finally did meet him - for certain values of 'meet' - he seemed normal, if a bit quiet and sullen.
Maybe the guy just had no friends because he was a jerk.
"Jim must have let you in," he said, watching his feet while Jared got up off the couch where he'd been waiting. For a moment Jared wondered if this might actually be some other heretofore unmentioned inhabitant of the household, but in his gut, he knew it was Jensen. "You're early."
"Aunt Sam had a flight to catch," Jared explained, feeling a familiar prickle of uncertainty and discomfort; early was as much an inconvenience as late. "She dropped me off on her way."
"Must've been in a hurry," Jensen mumbled. "Didn't Jim show you your room?"
"He, uh, he said he wasn't sure where you were putting me up," said Jared, glancing at the door that Jim had disappeared through. Out to the yard, he'd said, to look after the garden. "He said he doesn't work in the house."
"My mother was supposed to meet you," said Jensen. "She's not home yet."
That much, Jared had already ascertained for himself.
"I didn't mean to be any trouble," said Jared. Fifteen minutes in this house, a house that seemed impossible large for such a small family, and already he was missing Jeff's cabin. No, that wasn't true, he was missing his home from the moment he got in the car with Aunt Sam. "If you know where my room is, I can wait in there until she gets home."
"I know where your room is," he said. "I live here, don't I?"
"So you must be Jensen, I guess," said Jared, following him up the stairs. "I guess if you're not I'm probably in the wrong house or something." Jensen didn't answer, just gave Jared a look over his shoulder that Jared couldn't quite read. Okay, yeah, it wasn't that funny, but it was still an effort. "Is this it here?"
"The door I'm opening for you?" said Jensen. "Yes, it's your room."
He didn't even sound mean - he didn't really sound like anything at all - but Jared felt stupid every time Jensen opened his mouth. There was something going on here Jared was obviously missing, because someone who looked like Jensen should never have needed someone like Jared to be his friend. Maybe he was shy, and a little awkward, but someone who looked like Jensen could still have anything he wanted in the world.
Jared kept those thoughts to himself as he stepped past him into the large, bright room and set his bags down by the door, taking it all in.
"Lots of windows," he said finally.
"Yeah," said Jensen, dragging the word out. "There are other bedrooms if you don't like it. We have six."
"No!" said Jared quickly. "No, it's wonderful, I love it."
"Sure, whatever," said Jensen, lingering in the doorway as Jared went to push the curtains aside, checking the view. He was disappointed all over again when he saw more buildings instead of the outdoors that he'd grown used to. Sure, past all the buildings, past all the homes and the offices and the warehouses and the high-rises, there were his mountains off in the distance, but it wasn't the same thing at all.
Still, it was a beautiful room in a beautiful home and Jared was very good at being grateful for what he had. What he had right now was a new home to get to know, and a man he was supposed to befriend. When he looked at it that way, he had a lot to work with.
"So I was thinking," he said as he turned back around, "since I don't know this area at all, maybe you could show me around a little tomorrow?"
Jensen stared at him in silence long enough to make Jared uncomfortable. "You're kidding," he said finally. "That's your opening gambit? Did you actually think that was going to work?"
Oh, now Jensen had words to say to him. Jared hadn't even realised he was that hopeful Jensen would want to do something until he felt his face fall.
"If you don't want to, you could just say so," he said, sighing softly. Befriending wasn't always a straightforward process. "It's all right. I'm sure I can figure it out."
"Really, that's it? That was hardly an effort at all," Jensen went on. "Not that I'm complaining, but I'm sure my parents were expecting more from you when they made this little arrangement."
"You, uh, you know about that?"
"Of course I know about that," said Jensen. "They're getting desperate. A long line of therapists didn't work, so now they're trying... I'm not even sure what this is. Maybe an attempt to shame me into it."
Jensen had lost him somewhere, and Jared suspected it was earlier than he thought. "Shame you into what?" he said. "Making friends?"
"Going outside, obviously," said Jensen. "As if there's anything out there worth making the effort for."
"Oh," said Jared. He was a sharp boy, no matter what impression he'd given Jensen over the past few minutes. That was all it took for him to suddenly understood just what he hadn't been told about the whole thing. "You don't go outside."
"I think we've established that."
"Jensen, nobody... I didn't know that. I wasn't making fun of you, I just didn't know. You must think I'm an idiot."
"Just what arrangement did you think you were making anyway?"
"I didn't... my Aunt Sam did everything. She told me I had to come and stay here to go to school and I didn't really get much say in the matter. Not that it's terrible or anything! I mean, wow, I've never stayed in a place like this before. But she didn't really explain anything to me, not like I guess she was supposed to."
"Okay, maybe you're not a complete idiot," said Jensen, almost grudgingly, "but I'm still not showing you around the neighbourhood. Talk to Jim, he has to run errands tomorrow anyway."
"I don't have to go out. I could stay in. We could do something here," Jared tried. "I should unpack and settle in anyway."
"You have two bags," said Jensen. "How long's that going to take?"
"Still, I don't need to go out on my first day in the city." Jared closed the curtains again, though they still let plenty of light in, stripes of it on the desk and the area rug and the bedspread.
"You start school next week," said Jensen, "and I don't need a babysitter."
Jared would have replied, but with that Jensen disappeared from his doorway and Jared filed the conversation away as over. He supposed now was as good a time as any to unpack. After all, soon enough Mrs. Ackles would be home to properly introduce him to his new life.
:::
Jim Beaver was, Jared quickly discovered, a good man. The Ackles' gardener and groundskeeper for years, he showed up four days a week, like clockwork. Not quite a member of the family, but something more than hired help.
Jim was the one who, after Mrs. Ackles had arrived home to give Jared the rundown on the home, the school, and their expectations, showed up the next morning and took Jared out with him on his errands, pointing out the various places he would need to know and, when Jared confessed to missing his garden, let Jared get his hands dirty outside while he gave him the real lay of the land.
Jared thought he was going to get along very well with Jim.
Which was a relief, because he figured he was going to need it. This whole situation in the Ackles household was a lot to take in. Sure, on the surface it was simple enough, and they'd stressed that they didn't expect him to fix Jensen, just be a companion to him, but it was still a shock after the summer he'd had.
There was actually a lack of uncertainty to it that not so long ago Jared would have been grateful for: he knew up front that he was here precisely until the end of the school year, no more and, barring unforeseen circumstances, no less. There was even a contract.
Yet all Jared could think about was what he'd be doing if he was back up in the mountains right now, back in Uncle Jeff's cabin with people he knew truly wanted him there.
Not that the Ackles family hadn't been clear that he was welcome in their home, but it wasn't the same thing.
The one thing Jared was truly grateful for - well, the one unexpected thing, because in spite of everything Jared really was grateful for everything they were offering him - was the computer in his room. And not a computer that had been handed down from one of the family members, old and quirky and on its last legs. No, this was a new, shiny, never-been-booted laptop, and it was his.
He'd sent the message on his first day in the house, within an hour of being told the computer was his. There was so much more he could have said, now even more than then, but he wasn't sure Jeff wanted to hear it. And when it came down to it, Jared just wanted Jeff to know that not matter how they'd left things, everything was going to work out all right. That he really believed that.
On his fourth day in the house Jared was lying on his back on the bed - his feet hanging off the end, just a little, and reminding him in some strange way just how close to being an adult he really was - when he realised he was waiting for something. It took a little longer still to realise that what he was waiting for was someone to interrupt him. Sure, he'd had a lot of time to himself at Jeff's, but that was different. This was a home in which he could expect to be interrupted.
But Jensen wasn't coming. Jensen had probably, in fact, shut himself up in his office or in the game room or somewhere in the house where he could avoid everyone else again. Especially when everyone else was Jared.
Well, Jared's role here had been made pretty clear, even clearer now that he'd talked to both Mrs. Ackles and Jim Beaver, and so he wasn't going to let him.
Jensen's suite was down the hall from Jared's, right at the end, and Jared invited himself inside.
"You ever hear of knocking?"
"It was open," said Jared. A crack. Well, technically the knob just hadn't clicked properly, but Jared would take his advantages where he could get them. "You busy?"
"Well, I am at the computer," said Jensen, "and there seems to be a pile of notes and sketches next to me, on top of an open book. Why don't you take a stab at answering that question yourself?"
"Your mom says that's pretty much your standard state of being," persisted Jared. "Why don't you come watch some TV with me? You've been in here all day."
"Look, I know you're bought and paid for, but you don't actually have to spend time with me," said Jensen, sighing and almost but not quite looking back over his shoulder at him. "Things are fine the way they are."
Jared just stared at him. "You don't even leave your house," he blurted out, even though that was definitely not a careful and subtle approach.
"Yeah, and?"
"How is that fine?"
"None of your damn business," said Jensen, typing louder than was strictly necessary. "Don't you have to get ready to start school tomorrow or something? I have work to do."
"Yeah, they told me you'd say that too," muttered Jared. But this particular operation had been a bit of a bungle right from the start. "I guess I'll see you at dinner, then."
"Yeah, maybe," said Jensen.
"And you didn't buy me."
"No?" said Jensen. "My parents are paying for your school so that you can be my best friend. If that isn't bought and paid for, I don't know what is. Don't worry, though, it's not a slight on you. Your family doesn't think they need to buy you friends."
"No, they just wanted to sell me off to get me out of their hair."
Jensen just sighed without looking up. "Can you go be emo somewhere else? I'm not in the mood for teenage angst right now."
Jared didn't say anything as he slipped out the door again, feeling a bit shaky and, well, angry, but more than anything he left the room feeling even sorrier for Jensen than when he went in.
:::
Jared's new high school was a whole nother thing to get used to.
"Don't worry, he always does this," said the guy slouching in the desk next to him when Mr. Singer assigned an impossibly large amount of reading on just the third day of classes.
"He's a masochist," Jared whispered back, already doing some time management in his head.
"He doesn't really think anyone's going to get it done, he just likes to make us sweat."
"Yeah, well it's working," said Jared. Still, he was a fast reader, and with the way things were going with Jensen, he was going to have a lot of free time to do it in. "You've had him before?"
"No, but my brother did a couple years ago."
A quick glare in their direction shut them both up, but just that much had been enough for Jared to feel the beginnings of a connection.
Over the years Jared had been to more than a dozen schools already. If he was lucky he was in one school for the whole year; more often than not he was in and out of at least two, if not more, always playing the catch up game, the make new friends game. Starting at his new school might actually have been the easiest part of this new arrangement, especially considering he came in at the beginning of the year with the other new students, an advantage he didn't always have.
"You're Jared, right?" the guy said when class let out.
"Yeah," said Jared falling into step next to him. "Am I in trouble already?"
"You're the guy who got Katie's bra down off the trophy case on the first day of school."
Jared closed his eyes for a second and wondered if that was what he was going to be known for for the rest of his time here. "Yeah, that was me."
"Katie's a friend of mine," he said. "I'm Aldis. You got lunch now?"
"Yeah, I've got lunch now," said Jared.
Sometimes it really was as easy as that.
He planted himself in the family room when he got back to the house after class, a comfortable room that despite its name Jared had actually never seen the family congregate in, and spread the various readings out in front of him. In fact, except for the occasional meal, he didn't think he'd ever seen the whole family congregate anywhere. He managed to get through a few of his readings before dinner but the real challenge came after, trying to figure out how to finish these, plus the rest of his homework, plus actually get some sleep before school the next day.
A couple of hours into it Jensen turned up out of the blue to join him. He didn't say much - barely more than a soft greeting - but he stuck around with his own book in his hand until Jared gave in and called it a night.
He wasn't sure what it meant, that Jensen was there, but it felt like something.
:::
It was hard not to be curious about how Jensen lived his life. Jared tried to treat him like any other person, but every time Jared had to leave the house for anything, whether it was to go to school or run to the store or the library or just to go outside, he though about what Jensen would have to do instead.
It kind of blew his mind a little.
It was a few days into the school year, when they were both still feeling their way around one another, that Jared actually asked Jensen what he did for a living. Because he obviously did something, even though, living in his parents' house, he technically probably didn't have to. After all, his father was a tenured university professor with a couple of bestselling books to his name, and his mother... well, Jared wasn't entirely clear on what she did but, like his Aunt Sam, it took her away from home for long stretches at a time.
"I'm a graphic designer," he said shortly, then when Jared didn't just disappear with his answer, added, "I took a couple online courses from home, but mostly I was just always good at it."
"Can I see some?" Jared suggested, though he didn't invite himself into the room this time.
"Like what?" said Jensen. "It's not like I draw pictures to hang on the wall. It's mostly commercial stuff."
"I don't know, something," said Jared. "I just want to see what you do, Jensen. It sounds interesting."
"Well, come in then, if you're just going to hover anyway," said Jensen, motioning him closer to his workspace. "I'm almost finished this anyway. It's a product promotion for a local company." Jared looked over his shoulder at the carefully laid out flyer. "Still think it's interesting?"
"Yes?" said Jared. "I mean, you obviously do, or you wouldn't be doing it."
"Well, what am I going to do with my life, be a firefighter?" said Jensen. "I had limited options."
That couldn't be the whole answer, though, sad and plausible as it was. Even if he could do whatever he wanted, Jared would bet that Jensen would choose something like this. You didn't get an art job if it wasn't something you liked doing, and that you had some talent for.
"Did you take that photograph yourself?"
"No," snapped Jensen. "Obviously."
"Well, I didn't know," said Jared. "It could have been from before, and I saw your camera on top of your bookcase...."
"I haven't used that camera in years," said Jensen. "The company provided the shots. I just put the whole thing together."
"Well, I like it," said Jared, offering his endorsement even though it was neither asked for nor, he suspected, wanted. "I like the way you... I'm sorry, I don't do art, I don't know the right words for it. I like the way you put things together. It makes me want to look at it more."
"Well, that's the idea," said Jensen, and even though Jared had obviously botched the compliment, Jensen looked pleased anyway. Jared wasn't sure he'd ever seen him actually look pleased about anything before.
:::
It really was a few weeks of settling in, for everyone involved. Jared had a whole new city to get used to, a whole new group of people to meet, and it was clear pretty early on that Jensen had been raised an only child, and wasn't used to sharing his space.
Jared was used to having no choice.
"Come on, Jared, you have a desk for a reason," said Jensen, arriving in the family room with his laptop and a sketchbook in tow. "You're taking up the whole couch."
"Oh, sorry," said Jared, stuffing a chocolate chip cookie in his mouth to free up a hand and pulling his books closer to his side to clear the other half of the couch for Jensen. Even though, he decided not to point out, it was a big room and there was other furniture to be had.
"That's not quite what I meant."
"Come on, Jensen, it's a beautiful day," said Jared, "and you can't see the back yard from my room."
From the French doors of the family room, which Jared had pulled wide open to let in some fresh air, you could see all of it, the flower beds and the path and the trees and the little bench that he sometimes liked to go out and read on. A yard that Jim kept impeccable and that Jared would bet Jensen had rarely, if ever, been out in.
"If you say so," said Jensen, looking out the doors but not going anywhere near them. He sat down at the very edge of the couch and opened his computer in his lap. "At least it's not raining."
"Does it matter to you?" Jared asked him. "Whether it's raining or not? I mean, you never go out in it...."
"The rain makes the house feel damp," said Jensen, hitting the keys a little harder than necessary again. Jared wondered if he even knew he was doing it. "You think I don't notice the weather just because I don't go out in it? You can't look out a window and see it's raining?"
"Sorry," said Jared, chewing the end of his pen as he puzzled through his physics textbook. "I guess I feel like it's different, knowing something and caring about it."
"I care about the weather," said Jensen, a little bit more quietly. A little bit more matter of fact. "I care what the world is like outside of this house."
"Okay," said Jared, accepting the answer without demanding more and falling silent for a little while, working till the theories clicked into place in his head. Genny had promised to catch him up in the morning, but Jared was determined to make it on his own.
When Jensen encroached on his half of the couch he didn't say anything about that either, just moved his books a little further out of his way. Finally, though, his cramping muscles demanded he to get up and move, even if it was only around the room.
"Finished?" said Jensen without looking up.
"Just taking a break," said Jared, wandering over to the wall by the fireplace and looking at the pictures mounted there. It was an eye-opening experience. "You used to go out. Look at that one, you're even smiling."
It was taken somewhere out by the ocean, Jensen's nose and cheeks freckled from sunshine, his hair windblown and the smile on his face broad and sincere. It was kind of amazing to look at, to compare to the Jensen he saw now.
"Obviously it was taken a long time ago," snapped Jensen. "What are you looking at those for anyway?"
"What happened?" said Jared. "It's like you're not even the same person anymore."
"None of your damn business."
"Look, you can keep on just not telling me anything," said Jared, his eyes still lingering on that one picture, "but I'll just have to ask someone else. I'd rather hear it from you."
He wouldn't, but he wasn't sure Jensen knew that.
"Nice," said Jensen. "Real nice. I'm so glad my parents found me such a nice, young man to bring me out of my shell. So gentle and considerate."
"I've sort of already figured out that gentle and considerate are doomed to failure," said Jared. It was hard to say where the two of them were at really - friends in some ways, still strangers in others - but Jared had been dealing with him on a daily basis long enough now that he felt like he knew how to communicate with him. "Just... was it really bad?"
"Yes," said Jensen. "It was really bad. And you can stand there as long as you like; I'm still not talking about it."
"Fine," said Jared. "All right. But you can tell me about this picture of you by the ocean. Are you on a boat? You look really happy."
Jensen looked up at the picture, and Jared would swear he almost smiled. Not a smile like in the picture, but at least a smile, which was more than Jared got out of him most days. If nothing else convinced him that Jensen wasn't happy with the way his life was, that alone would have.
"That was my fifteenth birthday," he said finally. "There was this... well, it doesn't matter. It was a good day, you're right. That was north of here, right at the edge of the shore. My friend Chris took that about two minutes before he tried to push me in."
"Chris, huh?" said Jared. "I haven't met him, have I?"
They both knew it was a disingenuous question considering Jensen hadn't introduced anyone to Jared as his friend.
"He went to McGill for school," said Jensen shortly. "We email sometimes."
"He your best friend?"
"He was," said Jensen. "But you know how things change when you finish high school."
"Not really," admitted Jared. Maybe Jensen was right about that, about things just changing. But Jared wasn't dumb. "Sometimes I wish you could show me these things, all these things you grew up with."
"You'll make friends at school," said Jensen, turning back to his work, though Jared had a sneaking suspicion what he was doing was not actual work, and that if he took a peek at Jensen's screen he'd find him halfway through a game of solitaire. "They'll show you stuff."
"I have friends," said Jared, finally pulling himself away and wandering back in the direction of Jensen and the couch. "Sort of. I have people who'll talk to me, anyway. They want me to play basketball at school, and they won't believe me when I tell them I'm terrible at it."
"You're terrible at basketball? Really?"
"Jensen, you saw me bump into a doorway, like, three times yesterday. I'm not exactly a marvel of coordination."
"Well, who is, in high school?" said Jensen. "You shouldn't play if you don't want to, though."
"Yeah, I'm not," said Jared. "But that doesn't make them stop asking. I don't know. I might join the drama club. Or debate. This one guy I know, Brock, he says the drama club is good people."
"Do you even like acting?" said Jensen. "That's probably a prerequisite."
"I might," said Jared. "Or I might like making stuff. That's what my Uncle Jeff does, he's an amazing carpenter."
"What, like building decks and stuff?"
"No, like building furniture," said Jared. "It's amazing. People pay lots of money to have him build stuff for him. Lemme show you his website, he's got pictures--"
"Hands off the computer," said Jensen, jerking it away when Jared reached across the couch for it.
"Ha, you are playing minesweeper, aren't you?" said Jared. "I knew it."
Jensen scowled and clicked a couple of times and then reluctantly let Jared get near it. "Fine, show me what he's got."
:::
The thing about Jensen was, he was a bit prickly and he was a lot reserved, but as long as Jared could handle being pricked once in a while - which frankly he didn't mind that much, and even less with Jensen than with other people - then Jensen was actually a pretty good guy to spend time with. He could even see glimpses of who Jensen must've been before... before whatever happened to him.
"What do you mean you've never played Xbox?" said Jensen. "How is that even possible?"
"I just haven't!" said Jared. "This one place I stayed, they had one but I wasn't allowed to play. Or I was in this foster home once, they had an old school Nintendo but that was it. I'm a master of Tetris."
"You were in a foster home?"
"Just for a little while," said Jared. "There was this legal thing, but Aunt Sam got me back. Anyway, at Jeff's place I didn't spend much time inside anyway. It's so gorgeous up in the mountains. Have you ever been?"
"When I was younger," said Jensen. "We used to go skiing. I haven't been in years."
"Yeah, I guess not," said Jared. "I don't even know how to ski. Jeff was going to teach me, though, once we had some snow. He said it would probably be easier to get around if I knew how."
"Wow, you were really out in the middle of nowhere, huh?"
"Yeah," said Jared, but with a fond smile. "It was great. I think I could've spent the whole rest of my life there and been perfectly happy."
"But you ended up here instead," said Jensen, "with me."
"It's nothing personal," said Jared quickly. "I mean... okay, I'd give a lot to be back there. But not because of you. You know?"
Jensen just shrugged. "You think I don't know I'm not easy to spend time with?" he said. "Being stuck in here with me gets pretty old pretty fast."
"It doesn't," said Jared. "I mean, okay, I wish we could do stuff. But I know you can't."
"Look," said Jensen. "It's not that I can't leave the house. It's that I don't. I don't want to and I don't need to."
"Okay, don't take this the wrong way? But you do know you're nuts, right?" said Jared. "I mean, not in the certifiable way, but--"
"So I've been told by people with many more qualifications than you," said Jensen. "As far as I'm concerned, you're the ones who are nuts. It's not worth the trouble. Trust me, I know."
"If you could see it, though, you'd know it was worth the trouble," said Jared. "The world is amazing, Jensen. All of it. Even the lame parts are amazing."
"I've seen the world," said Jensen. "I've probably even seen more of it than you have. I've made an informed decision here."
"You really think that, don't you?" said Jared sadly. "You really think that you chose this."
"I did choose this," said Jensen. "Maybe one day I'll choose something else, but right now I choose this. And yeah, I know it's a little fucked up, but so's what got me here. So don't tell me you wish I could go to your auditions at school or to the park or skiing, and then make that puppy dog face at me, all right."
"But I do," said Jared, even softer, before sighing. "Whytecliff School probably hasn't changed much since you went there anyway, and that's most of what I see in a day anyway. It probably hasn't changed much since your parents went there."
"Just my mom," said Jensen, which really wasn't much of an argument. "I think they still have some academic trophy she won on display in the main hall. My dad's from out east."
"Not exactly my point," said Jared, but the fact that Jensen seemed to think it was important made him smile a little anyway. "Is your name on any of the trophies in there?"
"What, are you trying to get me to admit to chess club awards or something?" said Jensen, shaking his head. "My team won the baseball tournament when I was a junior, but that won't have my name on it, just the year."
"You play baseball?"
"I used to," said Jensen. "Second base. I was never good enough to get a scholarship or anything, but we had a good team." Jared could picture it, the way Jensen must've looked when he wasn't quite so pale, when he had a little more muscle on him, when his only exposure to sunshine wasn't through a window. "I totally scored the winning run that year, too."
"Yeah?" said Jared. "You got any pictures of it?"
"Yeah, sure," said Jensen. "When I was playing Danny had a camera glued to her face, I swear. She made sure I had a bunch before she left for Dalhousie."
"Was she your girlfriend?" said Jared.
"No," said Jensen, a lot more shortly and a lot more irritably than Jensen was expecting. "Do you want to see the pictures or not?"
"I want to see the pictures," said Jared firmly. If Jensen was offering, he was taking, even if the offer was obviously to deflect something else. "I want to see whatever you want to show me."
And if Jensen gave him a bit of an odd look at that, Jared just chalked it up to his edginess and didn't think any more about it.
:::
Jared had always been pretty smart about a lot of stuff, practical stuff about how to survive in a new place, about what to do and who to avoid and how to just get by. He didn't know if that was why he always found it pretty easy to make school friends, but he always just fell into a group pretty effortlessly and Vancouver was no different.
Aldis had introduced him to Katie (properly, anyway, and with her bra where it was supposed to be), who had introduced him to Gabe who had introduced him to Genny who had introduced him to Brock. There were others, too, who fell in and out of the group, who showed up at lunch sometimes, or at Katie's after school, or in their little corner of the bleachers during a home game, but those were the five who, if anyone ever asked, Jared would call his friends.
Aldis reminded him a little of Jensen, in a weird way; he could not think of two people who looked less alike, but there was something about the way he always had a sketchbook on hand even though he'd never tell anybody what was in it, that was just like he imagined Jensen would be. But then, Aldis was always the first one to join Jared ever time he had the itch to do something outdoors, so that was something different.
Katie was probably the popular one, if you went through and calculated all the variables. She knew the most people, anyway, and if occasionally her bra was stolen from her gym bag and tossed up on the trophy cabinet, well, it was mostly just to get her attention. She reminded him of the Jensen he saw in pictures, a little brighter and a lot more carefree than he was now.
Gabe was quiet like Jensen, but it was more shy than reserved, really. Once you got to know him he was hilarious, but you had to make that effort in the first place. And Genny was the one who looked the most like him, though he would never tell either of them that, with the same incisive tongue that Jensen had once she trusted you to hear what she had to say.
Brock reminded him of Jensen too, but in a whole different way. Being with Brock reminded him of what it felt like to be with Jensen, he was the one whose smile made Jared feel something new deep in his gut. A feeling Jared was enjoying, but didn't feel quite ready to spend too much time thinking about.
Maybe everyone reminded him of Jensen a little, in their own way.
:::
"It's a girl, isn't it?" said Jensen. "That's what this whole drama club ordeal is all about. You're so into some girl that you're willing to make a fool of yourself on stage to prove it."
"It's not a girl," said Jared. "Come on, can you just read the lines with me? I don't even want the part, but I have to make an honest effort."
"Yeah right there's no girl," muttered Jensen, but he glanced over the pages and started reading Jared his cues anyway.
There was no way in hell Jared was getting the part, but he wanted to work backstage anyway. The audition was just because Brock and Katie were all into it and Jared didn't want to disappoint them. They would end up on stage, and they wouldn't mind that Jared didn't as long as he stuck around to do the other stuff.
"I suck, right?" he said when they'd made it through the scene.
"A little bit," said Jensen, a smile playing around at the corners of his mouth. Jared could tell. "I think you're just not cut out to be a lawyer."
"Or an actor," said Jared. "Okay, but do I suck so bad people are going to laugh?"
"For a high school production?" said Jensen. "I promise there will be people who are not only way worse than you, but way less self-aware about it. And they'll probably sing."
"It's not a musical."
"They won't let that stop them," said Jensen. "Trust me. It's not so long ago that I was in high school myself. Whoever this girl is, you're not going to embarrass yourself in front of her. Well, okay, you might, but it won't be because of your acting skills, or lack thereof."
"I'm serious, Jensen, there's no girl," said Jared, flipping back to the beginning of the scene again and mouthing the lines as he read through them. "There's just some of my friends. Katie and Brock do drama, and Aldis and Gabe don't really but they show up anyway because Brock says he needs the moral support. Genny says she's not going to have anything to do with it, but I bet she will."
"So it's Katie, then."
"Stop!" laughed Jared, smacking Jensen's leg with the script. "Just because I've seen her bra doesn't mean I'm into her. It wasn't even on her at the time."
"You've seen her out of her bra and you expect me to believe you're not doing this whole theatre thing for her?" said Jensen. "Yeah, try again, Jared. I'm not buying it."
"I didn't see her out of her bra, I saw her bra out of her. Or... well, something like that. It's how we met. Anyway, it's not about her, I just want to do something with my friends, you know? They're totally going to need people to build sets. The audition is just to, you know, make them happy."
"If they're your friends, they'll be happy even if you don't audition."
"Oh no, you don't get to give me any talks on friendship," said Jared. "I know it would be cool with them if I audition. But it's more fun to do it all together, even if I don't want a part. Now will you run through it with me again?"
"One more time," said Jensen, "as long as you promise to tell me all about the auditions afterwards."
"Wish you could be there too," murmured Jared, but he didn't push it any more than that. Jensen didn't say anything, just started again from the top.
:::
When Mr. Ackles sat Jared down after school one day, it was a good bet it was a conversation that Jared wasn't going to enjoy.
"Not long till your school lets out for the holidays," he said, leaning forward and clasping his hands between his knees.
"No, sir," said Jared politely. It was the beginning of a typical 'we're looking for a new place for you' speech, but Jared didn't think that was where it was going this time. Maybe actually having a year-long contract meant something.
"I know you've been talking about going to visit your uncle for the holidays, but we think it would mean a lot to Jensen if you stayed."
"Oh," said Jared. "Oh. Okay."
"I don't know if you realise it, Jared, but you've been good for him. I can see a difference in him these days. It'd be a real blow to have that set back."
Technically, he was asking. He was asking Jared to stay. But Jared was living here and going to school here at the Ackles family's expense, for the sole purpose of being there for Jensen, and he didn't feel like there was any real way he could refuse.
"I didn't really have any plans anyway," he said. He hadn't even told Jeff or Chad he might be coming, just in case. "I just thought maybe, you know. Since I had some time off."
"I promise we'll have a big celebration here," said Mr. Ackles. "Christmas dinner like you wouldn't believe. Maybe Jensen'll even sing some carols with us if we're lucky. Have you ever heard him sing?"
"No, sir," said Jared curiously. "I didn't even know he could."
"He used to, with those friends of his," he said, his voice growing distant for a moment. "Well, thank you for understanding, Jared. You won't regret it. I guess I'd better get on top of my Christmas shopping, huh?"
"Yeah, I guess I'd better, too," said Jared faintly, though he'd already picked up the gifts that mattered. He guessed, if he was sticking around, he was going to need a few more. "Was there anything else?"
"No, no, I need to get back to work," said Mr. Ackles. "I'm speaking in Toronto next week. Just let us know if you have any Christmas traditions, Jared. We want you to feel at home."
"Whatever you do will be fine," said Jared, and held his sigh until Mr. Ackles had left the room.
Maybe him being there really was doing Jensen a lot of good; it was hard to know when Jared hadn't known him before, and could only really knew what Jensen was like when he was with him. But considering how seldom Jensen's parents spent any time with him, he would've thought it'd be hard for them to tell too.
:::
They did try, and the truth was that it was a better Christmas than he'd had most years of his life, but in the afternoon, when Jensen had curled up with a new book and his parents were busy in the kitchen fixing dinner, Jared shut himself up in his room and opened his curtains and pulled out his phone.
"Hello?"
He almost cried just at the sound of Uncle Jeff's voice. "Hey," he said, his voice cracking even over just that one syllable. "Uh, hey, Merry Christmas."
"Jared?"
"Yeah," he said, clearing his throat this time. "I... God, I wish I was there."
There was silence for a moment, then Jared was sure he heard Jeff clearing his throat too before he tried to speak. "It's a lot quieter here without you, that's for sure."
"Did you get my presents?" he said. "For you and the girls?"
"Sure did," said Jeff. "I think they're playing with their toys right now." He wasn't even lying; Jared was sure he heard a distinctive squeak in the background. "What about you? Everything arrive on time?"
"I opened them first thing this morning, before I went downstairs. Just in case... I mean, I didn't want to cry in front of them."
"Jared--"
"I really wish I'd been able to come, Jeff. I really wanted to."
"You'd've been snowed in anyway, Jared," he said with a heavy sigh. "We got a heavy one last night. There'll be other chances."
"It was supposed to be our first Christmas as a family."
"Still is," said Jeff, "even if you're there and I'm here." It couldn't be the same as being together, but him saying that, it really was something. "It's still Christmas, and you're still family."
If he was trying to keep Jared from crying, he was doing a damn poor job of it.
"Tell me what it's like up there right now," he said. "Tell me what your Christmas is like."
"Well, it's awfully white," said Jeff, which was a lot more than Jared could say about Vancouver. "I haven't had a tree in a few years but I got one this year. Didn't have much to decorate it with, but it looks all right."
He didn't say it, but Jared suddenly wondered if Jeff got a tree for the first time in years just in case Jared came home.
"It's crazy, how many decorations they put up here," he told him in return. "The tree and the whole house and the garden and lights, like, everywhere."
"Sounds like something you'd see on TV."
"It really, really is," said Jared. That, actually, had been his first thought to. "They, um. They tried to do something nice for me. Like, do some of my traditions too? Except I don't have any. Mr. and Mrs. Ackles didn't quite understand, but Jensen got it. Jensen always understands me better."
They were both silent for a moment after that, then Jeff said, "I hope someday we can do something about that."
"We will," said Jared. "Next year there's nothing keeping me from being there with you. I won't care if we get snowed in because I won't want to be anywhere else."
"Well, you'd be welcome," said Jeff. "Everyone would sure be glad to see you."
And Jared would sure be glad to have them too. To have the mountain and the cabin and the girls and the people, but more than anything, he'd be glad to have Uncle Jeff.
"I should get back downstairs," he said reluctantly, "before someone comes looking for me. I just... I miss you."
"Yeah," said Jeff with another heavy sigh. "I miss you too."
:::
"So how many parties did you turn down to be here today?" Jensen asked him, pulling a couple of beers out of the fridge and offering one of them to Jared. "Go on. It's New Year's Eve. If you don't have a drink in your hand, there's something wrong with you."
"Your parents probably wouldn't approve."
"My parents won't be back from Cuba for a week. Unless you're planning to turn on the webcam and drink it in front of them, I think it won't be a problem."
Jared shrugged and twisted the top off the beer. "Just one."
"Fine, just one," said Jensen. "I'm not going to pour it down your throat."
"No, I mean, just one party," said Jared. "I was invited to Katie's New Year's party but I told her I would rather be here."
"You lied to her? At Christmas? You're clearly not the man my parents thought you were."
Jared snorted and carried his beer into the den. "I think everyone figured that out the moment they laid eyes on me," he said. "None of this was quite what they were planning on, I think."
"Shut up, my parents love you," said Jensen. "You're exactly what they wanted."
"I think I've spent, collectively, less than twenty-four hours with your parents since I arrived," said Jared. "They don't even know me. I figured they didn't want to."
"No, its not that," said Jensen, sitting down on the couch with his feet up on the coffee table and gesturing for Jared to join him. "They're just busy people. Dad's lecturing all over the continent now - hell, all over the world - and Mom never did spend all that much time at home. It doesn't mean they don't like you."
"Or you," added Jared.
Jensen just gave him a crooked, knowing smile. "I know that," he said. "You think I don't know my parents love me? My parents adore me. They just don't know what to do with me."
"I can't imagine you were ever really a handful," said Jared. "I mean... before. Before whatever."
"I wasn't," agreed Jensen. "I was a great kid. Almost everything they could've asked for. But that was before." He shrugged and drained a fair amount of his beer. "They don't know what to do with me now. But I know they're trying."
"You're all trying," said Jared. "I mean, right?"
"Sure," said Jensen. "We're all trying. Trying for different things, maybe, but we're trying. Anyway, why the hell didn't you go to Katie's party?"
"And leave you here alone?" said Jared. "Did you really think I was going to do that?"
"You think this would be the first New Year's Eve I spent alone?" said Jensen. "What do you think I did last year?"
"Well, I figured your parents...."
"Were in Australia," said Jensen. "It's tradition, for the family to go away at New Year's." Jared didn't even have to make his argument this time; Jensen caught his look. "I insisted, Jared. If I'd asked them to stay, they would've stayed. I didn't want them to. They need to get away."
"Well, I didn't want to go to her party anyway."
Well, there was one little reason he might've wanted to go to the party, but it wasn't - quite - enough to make him change his mind about spending the holiday with Jensen.
"Bullshit," said Jensen. "Did my parents tell you you had to stay here? Did they make you?"
"They don't make me do anything," said Jared. "They just... suggested...." That didn't actually make it sound any better, though, and he knew it before the words were even out of his mouth. "I'm sorry, that's not what I mean."
"No, it is," said Jensen. "It's exactly what you mean. Well, I am giving you permission to go. I don't need a babysitter, Jared. What am I going to do, wander away?"
"Shut up," said Jared. "I want to be here. You ever think maybe I wanted to spend my New Year's Eve with you?"
"No," said Jensen. "No, I never for a minute thought that. Because I am, in fact, a very smart man. If you're worried I'll tell them, I'm not going to do that. They're not even going to ask. But if they did, I could lie and say you were here all night."
"No," said Jared. "Come on, Jensen, no. I made my own decision, all right? And if I have to be in the city for the holidays, I'm glad I'm at least spending them with you. It would be weird, spending them with anyone else."
"Okay, but next year, next year promise me you'll go to a big New Year's party. Something with hats and champagne and... blowy things," said Jensen. "Promise me that and I'll get off your case and just let you enjoy your evening in with me."
"Maybe next year we both will," said Jared. "Yeah, okay, I promise."
"Don't hold your breath," said Jensen, but true to his word he didn't bring it up the rest of the night.
Next Part | Master Post
Jensen Ackles looked perfectly normal. The whole way down into the city Jared had been wondering what was wrong with him, if he was disfigured in some way, or chronically ill, or in some other way unable or unwilling to interact with other people. But when Jared finally did meet him - for certain values of 'meet' - he seemed normal, if a bit quiet and sullen.
Maybe the guy just had no friends because he was a jerk.
"Jim must have let you in," he said, watching his feet while Jared got up off the couch where he'd been waiting. For a moment Jared wondered if this might actually be some other heretofore unmentioned inhabitant of the household, but in his gut, he knew it was Jensen. "You're early."
"Aunt Sam had a flight to catch," Jared explained, feeling a familiar prickle of uncertainty and discomfort; early was as much an inconvenience as late. "She dropped me off on her way."
"Must've been in a hurry," Jensen mumbled. "Didn't Jim show you your room?"
"He, uh, he said he wasn't sure where you were putting me up," said Jared, glancing at the door that Jim had disappeared through. Out to the yard, he'd said, to look after the garden. "He said he doesn't work in the house."
"My mother was supposed to meet you," said Jensen. "She's not home yet."
That much, Jared had already ascertained for himself.
"I didn't mean to be any trouble," said Jared. Fifteen minutes in this house, a house that seemed impossible large for such a small family, and already he was missing Jeff's cabin. No, that wasn't true, he was missing his home from the moment he got in the car with Aunt Sam. "If you know where my room is, I can wait in there until she gets home."
"I know where your room is," he said. "I live here, don't I?"
"So you must be Jensen, I guess," said Jared, following him up the stairs. "I guess if you're not I'm probably in the wrong house or something." Jensen didn't answer, just gave Jared a look over his shoulder that Jared couldn't quite read. Okay, yeah, it wasn't that funny, but it was still an effort. "Is this it here?"
"The door I'm opening for you?" said Jensen. "Yes, it's your room."
He didn't even sound mean - he didn't really sound like anything at all - but Jared felt stupid every time Jensen opened his mouth. There was something going on here Jared was obviously missing, because someone who looked like Jensen should never have needed someone like Jared to be his friend. Maybe he was shy, and a little awkward, but someone who looked like Jensen could still have anything he wanted in the world.
Jared kept those thoughts to himself as he stepped past him into the large, bright room and set his bags down by the door, taking it all in.
"Lots of windows," he said finally.
"Yeah," said Jensen, dragging the word out. "There are other bedrooms if you don't like it. We have six."
"No!" said Jared quickly. "No, it's wonderful, I love it."
"Sure, whatever," said Jensen, lingering in the doorway as Jared went to push the curtains aside, checking the view. He was disappointed all over again when he saw more buildings instead of the outdoors that he'd grown used to. Sure, past all the buildings, past all the homes and the offices and the warehouses and the high-rises, there were his mountains off in the distance, but it wasn't the same thing at all.
Still, it was a beautiful room in a beautiful home and Jared was very good at being grateful for what he had. What he had right now was a new home to get to know, and a man he was supposed to befriend. When he looked at it that way, he had a lot to work with.
"So I was thinking," he said as he turned back around, "since I don't know this area at all, maybe you could show me around a little tomorrow?"
Jensen stared at him in silence long enough to make Jared uncomfortable. "You're kidding," he said finally. "That's your opening gambit? Did you actually think that was going to work?"
Oh, now Jensen had words to say to him. Jared hadn't even realised he was that hopeful Jensen would want to do something until he felt his face fall.
"If you don't want to, you could just say so," he said, sighing softly. Befriending wasn't always a straightforward process. "It's all right. I'm sure I can figure it out."
"Really, that's it? That was hardly an effort at all," Jensen went on. "Not that I'm complaining, but I'm sure my parents were expecting more from you when they made this little arrangement."
"You, uh, you know about that?"
"Of course I know about that," said Jensen. "They're getting desperate. A long line of therapists didn't work, so now they're trying... I'm not even sure what this is. Maybe an attempt to shame me into it."
Jensen had lost him somewhere, and Jared suspected it was earlier than he thought. "Shame you into what?" he said. "Making friends?"
"Going outside, obviously," said Jensen. "As if there's anything out there worth making the effort for."
"Oh," said Jared. He was a sharp boy, no matter what impression he'd given Jensen over the past few minutes. That was all it took for him to suddenly understood just what he hadn't been told about the whole thing. "You don't go outside."
"I think we've established that."
"Jensen, nobody... I didn't know that. I wasn't making fun of you, I just didn't know. You must think I'm an idiot."
"Just what arrangement did you think you were making anyway?"
"I didn't... my Aunt Sam did everything. She told me I had to come and stay here to go to school and I didn't really get much say in the matter. Not that it's terrible or anything! I mean, wow, I've never stayed in a place like this before. But she didn't really explain anything to me, not like I guess she was supposed to."
"Okay, maybe you're not a complete idiot," said Jensen, almost grudgingly, "but I'm still not showing you around the neighbourhood. Talk to Jim, he has to run errands tomorrow anyway."
"I don't have to go out. I could stay in. We could do something here," Jared tried. "I should unpack and settle in anyway."
"You have two bags," said Jensen. "How long's that going to take?"
"Still, I don't need to go out on my first day in the city." Jared closed the curtains again, though they still let plenty of light in, stripes of it on the desk and the area rug and the bedspread.
"You start school next week," said Jensen, "and I don't need a babysitter."
Jared would have replied, but with that Jensen disappeared from his doorway and Jared filed the conversation away as over. He supposed now was as good a time as any to unpack. After all, soon enough Mrs. Ackles would be home to properly introduce him to his new life.
:::
Jim Beaver was, Jared quickly discovered, a good man. The Ackles' gardener and groundskeeper for years, he showed up four days a week, like clockwork. Not quite a member of the family, but something more than hired help.
Jim was the one who, after Mrs. Ackles had arrived home to give Jared the rundown on the home, the school, and their expectations, showed up the next morning and took Jared out with him on his errands, pointing out the various places he would need to know and, when Jared confessed to missing his garden, let Jared get his hands dirty outside while he gave him the real lay of the land.
Jared thought he was going to get along very well with Jim.
Which was a relief, because he figured he was going to need it. This whole situation in the Ackles household was a lot to take in. Sure, on the surface it was simple enough, and they'd stressed that they didn't expect him to fix Jensen, just be a companion to him, but it was still a shock after the summer he'd had.
There was actually a lack of uncertainty to it that not so long ago Jared would have been grateful for: he knew up front that he was here precisely until the end of the school year, no more and, barring unforeseen circumstances, no less. There was even a contract.
Yet all Jared could think about was what he'd be doing if he was back up in the mountains right now, back in Uncle Jeff's cabin with people he knew truly wanted him there.
Not that the Ackles family hadn't been clear that he was welcome in their home, but it wasn't the same thing.
The one thing Jared was truly grateful for - well, the one unexpected thing, because in spite of everything Jared really was grateful for everything they were offering him - was the computer in his room. And not a computer that had been handed down from one of the family members, old and quirky and on its last legs. No, this was a new, shiny, never-been-booted laptop, and it was his.
Hey Uncle Jeff, just wanted to let you know that I arrived okay. The Ackles family is nice, and I haven't had a chance to see much of the city yet but I'm sure I will soon. It's not like being home, but I can stick it out for the school year. It'll be okay.
He'd sent the message on his first day in the house, within an hour of being told the computer was his. There was so much more he could have said, now even more than then, but he wasn't sure Jeff wanted to hear it. And when it came down to it, Jared just wanted Jeff to know that not matter how they'd left things, everything was going to work out all right. That he really believed that.
On his fourth day in the house Jared was lying on his back on the bed - his feet hanging off the end, just a little, and reminding him in some strange way just how close to being an adult he really was - when he realised he was waiting for something. It took a little longer still to realise that what he was waiting for was someone to interrupt him. Sure, he'd had a lot of time to himself at Jeff's, but that was different. This was a home in which he could expect to be interrupted.
But Jensen wasn't coming. Jensen had probably, in fact, shut himself up in his office or in the game room or somewhere in the house where he could avoid everyone else again. Especially when everyone else was Jared.
Well, Jared's role here had been made pretty clear, even clearer now that he'd talked to both Mrs. Ackles and Jim Beaver, and so he wasn't going to let him.
Jensen's suite was down the hall from Jared's, right at the end, and Jared invited himself inside.
"You ever hear of knocking?"
"It was open," said Jared. A crack. Well, technically the knob just hadn't clicked properly, but Jared would take his advantages where he could get them. "You busy?"
"Well, I am at the computer," said Jensen, "and there seems to be a pile of notes and sketches next to me, on top of an open book. Why don't you take a stab at answering that question yourself?"
"Your mom says that's pretty much your standard state of being," persisted Jared. "Why don't you come watch some TV with me? You've been in here all day."
"Look, I know you're bought and paid for, but you don't actually have to spend time with me," said Jensen, sighing and almost but not quite looking back over his shoulder at him. "Things are fine the way they are."
Jared just stared at him. "You don't even leave your house," he blurted out, even though that was definitely not a careful and subtle approach.
"Yeah, and?"
"How is that fine?"
"None of your damn business," said Jensen, typing louder than was strictly necessary. "Don't you have to get ready to start school tomorrow or something? I have work to do."
"Yeah, they told me you'd say that too," muttered Jared. But this particular operation had been a bit of a bungle right from the start. "I guess I'll see you at dinner, then."
"Yeah, maybe," said Jensen.
"And you didn't buy me."
"No?" said Jensen. "My parents are paying for your school so that you can be my best friend. If that isn't bought and paid for, I don't know what is. Don't worry, though, it's not a slight on you. Your family doesn't think they need to buy you friends."
"No, they just wanted to sell me off to get me out of their hair."
Jensen just sighed without looking up. "Can you go be emo somewhere else? I'm not in the mood for teenage angst right now."
Jared didn't say anything as he slipped out the door again, feeling a bit shaky and, well, angry, but more than anything he left the room feeling even sorrier for Jensen than when he went in.
:::
Jared's new high school was a whole nother thing to get used to.
"Don't worry, he always does this," said the guy slouching in the desk next to him when Mr. Singer assigned an impossibly large amount of reading on just the third day of classes.
"He's a masochist," Jared whispered back, already doing some time management in his head.
"He doesn't really think anyone's going to get it done, he just likes to make us sweat."
"Yeah, well it's working," said Jared. Still, he was a fast reader, and with the way things were going with Jensen, he was going to have a lot of free time to do it in. "You've had him before?"
"No, but my brother did a couple years ago."
A quick glare in their direction shut them both up, but just that much had been enough for Jared to feel the beginnings of a connection.
Over the years Jared had been to more than a dozen schools already. If he was lucky he was in one school for the whole year; more often than not he was in and out of at least two, if not more, always playing the catch up game, the make new friends game. Starting at his new school might actually have been the easiest part of this new arrangement, especially considering he came in at the beginning of the year with the other new students, an advantage he didn't always have.
"You're Jared, right?" the guy said when class let out.
"Yeah," said Jared falling into step next to him. "Am I in trouble already?"
"You're the guy who got Katie's bra down off the trophy case on the first day of school."
Jared closed his eyes for a second and wondered if that was what he was going to be known for for the rest of his time here. "Yeah, that was me."
"Katie's a friend of mine," he said. "I'm Aldis. You got lunch now?"
"Yeah, I've got lunch now," said Jared.
Sometimes it really was as easy as that.
He planted himself in the family room when he got back to the house after class, a comfortable room that despite its name Jared had actually never seen the family congregate in, and spread the various readings out in front of him. In fact, except for the occasional meal, he didn't think he'd ever seen the whole family congregate anywhere. He managed to get through a few of his readings before dinner but the real challenge came after, trying to figure out how to finish these, plus the rest of his homework, plus actually get some sleep before school the next day.
A couple of hours into it Jensen turned up out of the blue to join him. He didn't say much - barely more than a soft greeting - but he stuck around with his own book in his hand until Jared gave in and called it a night.
He wasn't sure what it meant, that Jensen was there, but it felt like something.
:::
It was hard not to be curious about how Jensen lived his life. Jared tried to treat him like any other person, but every time Jared had to leave the house for anything, whether it was to go to school or run to the store or the library or just to go outside, he though about what Jensen would have to do instead.
It kind of blew his mind a little.
It was a few days into the school year, when they were both still feeling their way around one another, that Jared actually asked Jensen what he did for a living. Because he obviously did something, even though, living in his parents' house, he technically probably didn't have to. After all, his father was a tenured university professor with a couple of bestselling books to his name, and his mother... well, Jared wasn't entirely clear on what she did but, like his Aunt Sam, it took her away from home for long stretches at a time.
"I'm a graphic designer," he said shortly, then when Jared didn't just disappear with his answer, added, "I took a couple online courses from home, but mostly I was just always good at it."
"Can I see some?" Jared suggested, though he didn't invite himself into the room this time.
"Like what?" said Jensen. "It's not like I draw pictures to hang on the wall. It's mostly commercial stuff."
"I don't know, something," said Jared. "I just want to see what you do, Jensen. It sounds interesting."
"Well, come in then, if you're just going to hover anyway," said Jensen, motioning him closer to his workspace. "I'm almost finished this anyway. It's a product promotion for a local company." Jared looked over his shoulder at the carefully laid out flyer. "Still think it's interesting?"
"Yes?" said Jared. "I mean, you obviously do, or you wouldn't be doing it."
"Well, what am I going to do with my life, be a firefighter?" said Jensen. "I had limited options."
That couldn't be the whole answer, though, sad and plausible as it was. Even if he could do whatever he wanted, Jared would bet that Jensen would choose something like this. You didn't get an art job if it wasn't something you liked doing, and that you had some talent for.
"Did you take that photograph yourself?"
"No," snapped Jensen. "Obviously."
"Well, I didn't know," said Jared. "It could have been from before, and I saw your camera on top of your bookcase...."
"I haven't used that camera in years," said Jensen. "The company provided the shots. I just put the whole thing together."
"Well, I like it," said Jared, offering his endorsement even though it was neither asked for nor, he suspected, wanted. "I like the way you... I'm sorry, I don't do art, I don't know the right words for it. I like the way you put things together. It makes me want to look at it more."
"Well, that's the idea," said Jensen, and even though Jared had obviously botched the compliment, Jensen looked pleased anyway. Jared wasn't sure he'd ever seen him actually look pleased about anything before.
:::
It really was a few weeks of settling in, for everyone involved. Jared had a whole new city to get used to, a whole new group of people to meet, and it was clear pretty early on that Jensen had been raised an only child, and wasn't used to sharing his space.
Jared was used to having no choice.
"Come on, Jared, you have a desk for a reason," said Jensen, arriving in the family room with his laptop and a sketchbook in tow. "You're taking up the whole couch."
"Oh, sorry," said Jared, stuffing a chocolate chip cookie in his mouth to free up a hand and pulling his books closer to his side to clear the other half of the couch for Jensen. Even though, he decided not to point out, it was a big room and there was other furniture to be had.
"That's not quite what I meant."
"Come on, Jensen, it's a beautiful day," said Jared, "and you can't see the back yard from my room."
From the French doors of the family room, which Jared had pulled wide open to let in some fresh air, you could see all of it, the flower beds and the path and the trees and the little bench that he sometimes liked to go out and read on. A yard that Jim kept impeccable and that Jared would bet Jensen had rarely, if ever, been out in.
"If you say so," said Jensen, looking out the doors but not going anywhere near them. He sat down at the very edge of the couch and opened his computer in his lap. "At least it's not raining."
"Does it matter to you?" Jared asked him. "Whether it's raining or not? I mean, you never go out in it...."
"The rain makes the house feel damp," said Jensen, hitting the keys a little harder than necessary again. Jared wondered if he even knew he was doing it. "You think I don't notice the weather just because I don't go out in it? You can't look out a window and see it's raining?"
"Sorry," said Jared, chewing the end of his pen as he puzzled through his physics textbook. "I guess I feel like it's different, knowing something and caring about it."
"I care about the weather," said Jensen, a little bit more quietly. A little bit more matter of fact. "I care what the world is like outside of this house."
"Okay," said Jared, accepting the answer without demanding more and falling silent for a little while, working till the theories clicked into place in his head. Genny had promised to catch him up in the morning, but Jared was determined to make it on his own.
When Jensen encroached on his half of the couch he didn't say anything about that either, just moved his books a little further out of his way. Finally, though, his cramping muscles demanded he to get up and move, even if it was only around the room.
"Finished?" said Jensen without looking up.
"Just taking a break," said Jared, wandering over to the wall by the fireplace and looking at the pictures mounted there. It was an eye-opening experience. "You used to go out. Look at that one, you're even smiling."
It was taken somewhere out by the ocean, Jensen's nose and cheeks freckled from sunshine, his hair windblown and the smile on his face broad and sincere. It was kind of amazing to look at, to compare to the Jensen he saw now.
"Obviously it was taken a long time ago," snapped Jensen. "What are you looking at those for anyway?"
"What happened?" said Jared. "It's like you're not even the same person anymore."
"None of your damn business."
"Look, you can keep on just not telling me anything," said Jared, his eyes still lingering on that one picture, "but I'll just have to ask someone else. I'd rather hear it from you."
He wouldn't, but he wasn't sure Jensen knew that.
"Nice," said Jensen. "Real nice. I'm so glad my parents found me such a nice, young man to bring me out of my shell. So gentle and considerate."
"I've sort of already figured out that gentle and considerate are doomed to failure," said Jared. It was hard to say where the two of them were at really - friends in some ways, still strangers in others - but Jared had been dealing with him on a daily basis long enough now that he felt like he knew how to communicate with him. "Just... was it really bad?"
"Yes," said Jensen. "It was really bad. And you can stand there as long as you like; I'm still not talking about it."
"Fine," said Jared. "All right. But you can tell me about this picture of you by the ocean. Are you on a boat? You look really happy."
Jensen looked up at the picture, and Jared would swear he almost smiled. Not a smile like in the picture, but at least a smile, which was more than Jared got out of him most days. If nothing else convinced him that Jensen wasn't happy with the way his life was, that alone would have.
"That was my fifteenth birthday," he said finally. "There was this... well, it doesn't matter. It was a good day, you're right. That was north of here, right at the edge of the shore. My friend Chris took that about two minutes before he tried to push me in."
"Chris, huh?" said Jared. "I haven't met him, have I?"
They both knew it was a disingenuous question considering Jensen hadn't introduced anyone to Jared as his friend.
"He went to McGill for school," said Jensen shortly. "We email sometimes."
"He your best friend?"
"He was," said Jensen. "But you know how things change when you finish high school."
"Not really," admitted Jared. Maybe Jensen was right about that, about things just changing. But Jared wasn't dumb. "Sometimes I wish you could show me these things, all these things you grew up with."
"You'll make friends at school," said Jensen, turning back to his work, though Jared had a sneaking suspicion what he was doing was not actual work, and that if he took a peek at Jensen's screen he'd find him halfway through a game of solitaire. "They'll show you stuff."
"I have friends," said Jared, finally pulling himself away and wandering back in the direction of Jensen and the couch. "Sort of. I have people who'll talk to me, anyway. They want me to play basketball at school, and they won't believe me when I tell them I'm terrible at it."
"You're terrible at basketball? Really?"
"Jensen, you saw me bump into a doorway, like, three times yesterday. I'm not exactly a marvel of coordination."
"Well, who is, in high school?" said Jensen. "You shouldn't play if you don't want to, though."
"Yeah, I'm not," said Jared. "But that doesn't make them stop asking. I don't know. I might join the drama club. Or debate. This one guy I know, Brock, he says the drama club is good people."
"Do you even like acting?" said Jensen. "That's probably a prerequisite."
"I might," said Jared. "Or I might like making stuff. That's what my Uncle Jeff does, he's an amazing carpenter."
"What, like building decks and stuff?"
"No, like building furniture," said Jared. "It's amazing. People pay lots of money to have him build stuff for him. Lemme show you his website, he's got pictures--"
"Hands off the computer," said Jensen, jerking it away when Jared reached across the couch for it.
"Ha, you are playing minesweeper, aren't you?" said Jared. "I knew it."
Jensen scowled and clicked a couple of times and then reluctantly let Jared get near it. "Fine, show me what he's got."
:::
The thing about Jensen was, he was a bit prickly and he was a lot reserved, but as long as Jared could handle being pricked once in a while - which frankly he didn't mind that much, and even less with Jensen than with other people - then Jensen was actually a pretty good guy to spend time with. He could even see glimpses of who Jensen must've been before... before whatever happened to him.
"What do you mean you've never played Xbox?" said Jensen. "How is that even possible?"
"I just haven't!" said Jared. "This one place I stayed, they had one but I wasn't allowed to play. Or I was in this foster home once, they had an old school Nintendo but that was it. I'm a master of Tetris."
"You were in a foster home?"
"Just for a little while," said Jared. "There was this legal thing, but Aunt Sam got me back. Anyway, at Jeff's place I didn't spend much time inside anyway. It's so gorgeous up in the mountains. Have you ever been?"
"When I was younger," said Jensen. "We used to go skiing. I haven't been in years."
"Yeah, I guess not," said Jared. "I don't even know how to ski. Jeff was going to teach me, though, once we had some snow. He said it would probably be easier to get around if I knew how."
"Wow, you were really out in the middle of nowhere, huh?"
"Yeah," said Jared, but with a fond smile. "It was great. I think I could've spent the whole rest of my life there and been perfectly happy."
"But you ended up here instead," said Jensen, "with me."
"It's nothing personal," said Jared quickly. "I mean... okay, I'd give a lot to be back there. But not because of you. You know?"
Jensen just shrugged. "You think I don't know I'm not easy to spend time with?" he said. "Being stuck in here with me gets pretty old pretty fast."
"It doesn't," said Jared. "I mean, okay, I wish we could do stuff. But I know you can't."
"Look," said Jensen. "It's not that I can't leave the house. It's that I don't. I don't want to and I don't need to."
"Okay, don't take this the wrong way? But you do know you're nuts, right?" said Jared. "I mean, not in the certifiable way, but--"
"So I've been told by people with many more qualifications than you," said Jensen. "As far as I'm concerned, you're the ones who are nuts. It's not worth the trouble. Trust me, I know."
"If you could see it, though, you'd know it was worth the trouble," said Jared. "The world is amazing, Jensen. All of it. Even the lame parts are amazing."
"I've seen the world," said Jensen. "I've probably even seen more of it than you have. I've made an informed decision here."
"You really think that, don't you?" said Jared sadly. "You really think that you chose this."
"I did choose this," said Jensen. "Maybe one day I'll choose something else, but right now I choose this. And yeah, I know it's a little fucked up, but so's what got me here. So don't tell me you wish I could go to your auditions at school or to the park or skiing, and then make that puppy dog face at me, all right."
"But I do," said Jared, even softer, before sighing. "Whytecliff School probably hasn't changed much since you went there anyway, and that's most of what I see in a day anyway. It probably hasn't changed much since your parents went there."
"Just my mom," said Jensen, which really wasn't much of an argument. "I think they still have some academic trophy she won on display in the main hall. My dad's from out east."
"Not exactly my point," said Jared, but the fact that Jensen seemed to think it was important made him smile a little anyway. "Is your name on any of the trophies in there?"
"What, are you trying to get me to admit to chess club awards or something?" said Jensen, shaking his head. "My team won the baseball tournament when I was a junior, but that won't have my name on it, just the year."
"You play baseball?"
"I used to," said Jensen. "Second base. I was never good enough to get a scholarship or anything, but we had a good team." Jared could picture it, the way Jensen must've looked when he wasn't quite so pale, when he had a little more muscle on him, when his only exposure to sunshine wasn't through a window. "I totally scored the winning run that year, too."
"Yeah?" said Jared. "You got any pictures of it?"
"Yeah, sure," said Jensen. "When I was playing Danny had a camera glued to her face, I swear. She made sure I had a bunch before she left for Dalhousie."
"Was she your girlfriend?" said Jared.
"No," said Jensen, a lot more shortly and a lot more irritably than Jensen was expecting. "Do you want to see the pictures or not?"
"I want to see the pictures," said Jared firmly. If Jensen was offering, he was taking, even if the offer was obviously to deflect something else. "I want to see whatever you want to show me."
And if Jensen gave him a bit of an odd look at that, Jared just chalked it up to his edginess and didn't think any more about it.
:::
Jared had always been pretty smart about a lot of stuff, practical stuff about how to survive in a new place, about what to do and who to avoid and how to just get by. He didn't know if that was why he always found it pretty easy to make school friends, but he always just fell into a group pretty effortlessly and Vancouver was no different.
Aldis had introduced him to Katie (properly, anyway, and with her bra where it was supposed to be), who had introduced him to Gabe who had introduced him to Genny who had introduced him to Brock. There were others, too, who fell in and out of the group, who showed up at lunch sometimes, or at Katie's after school, or in their little corner of the bleachers during a home game, but those were the five who, if anyone ever asked, Jared would call his friends.
Aldis reminded him a little of Jensen, in a weird way; he could not think of two people who looked less alike, but there was something about the way he always had a sketchbook on hand even though he'd never tell anybody what was in it, that was just like he imagined Jensen would be. But then, Aldis was always the first one to join Jared ever time he had the itch to do something outdoors, so that was something different.
Katie was probably the popular one, if you went through and calculated all the variables. She knew the most people, anyway, and if occasionally her bra was stolen from her gym bag and tossed up on the trophy cabinet, well, it was mostly just to get her attention. She reminded him of the Jensen he saw in pictures, a little brighter and a lot more carefree than he was now.
Gabe was quiet like Jensen, but it was more shy than reserved, really. Once you got to know him he was hilarious, but you had to make that effort in the first place. And Genny was the one who looked the most like him, though he would never tell either of them that, with the same incisive tongue that Jensen had once she trusted you to hear what she had to say.
Brock reminded him of Jensen too, but in a whole different way. Being with Brock reminded him of what it felt like to be with Jensen, he was the one whose smile made Jared feel something new deep in his gut. A feeling Jared was enjoying, but didn't feel quite ready to spend too much time thinking about.
Maybe everyone reminded him of Jensen a little, in their own way.
:::
"It's a girl, isn't it?" said Jensen. "That's what this whole drama club ordeal is all about. You're so into some girl that you're willing to make a fool of yourself on stage to prove it."
"It's not a girl," said Jared. "Come on, can you just read the lines with me? I don't even want the part, but I have to make an honest effort."
"Yeah right there's no girl," muttered Jensen, but he glanced over the pages and started reading Jared his cues anyway.
There was no way in hell Jared was getting the part, but he wanted to work backstage anyway. The audition was just because Brock and Katie were all into it and Jared didn't want to disappoint them. They would end up on stage, and they wouldn't mind that Jared didn't as long as he stuck around to do the other stuff.
"I suck, right?" he said when they'd made it through the scene.
"A little bit," said Jensen, a smile playing around at the corners of his mouth. Jared could tell. "I think you're just not cut out to be a lawyer."
"Or an actor," said Jared. "Okay, but do I suck so bad people are going to laugh?"
"For a high school production?" said Jensen. "I promise there will be people who are not only way worse than you, but way less self-aware about it. And they'll probably sing."
"It's not a musical."
"They won't let that stop them," said Jensen. "Trust me. It's not so long ago that I was in high school myself. Whoever this girl is, you're not going to embarrass yourself in front of her. Well, okay, you might, but it won't be because of your acting skills, or lack thereof."
"I'm serious, Jensen, there's no girl," said Jared, flipping back to the beginning of the scene again and mouthing the lines as he read through them. "There's just some of my friends. Katie and Brock do drama, and Aldis and Gabe don't really but they show up anyway because Brock says he needs the moral support. Genny says she's not going to have anything to do with it, but I bet she will."
"So it's Katie, then."
"Stop!" laughed Jared, smacking Jensen's leg with the script. "Just because I've seen her bra doesn't mean I'm into her. It wasn't even on her at the time."
"You've seen her out of her bra and you expect me to believe you're not doing this whole theatre thing for her?" said Jensen. "Yeah, try again, Jared. I'm not buying it."
"I didn't see her out of her bra, I saw her bra out of her. Or... well, something like that. It's how we met. Anyway, it's not about her, I just want to do something with my friends, you know? They're totally going to need people to build sets. The audition is just to, you know, make them happy."
"If they're your friends, they'll be happy even if you don't audition."
"Oh no, you don't get to give me any talks on friendship," said Jared. "I know it would be cool with them if I audition. But it's more fun to do it all together, even if I don't want a part. Now will you run through it with me again?"
"One more time," said Jensen, "as long as you promise to tell me all about the auditions afterwards."
"Wish you could be there too," murmured Jared, but he didn't push it any more than that. Jensen didn't say anything, just started again from the top.
:::
When Mr. Ackles sat Jared down after school one day, it was a good bet it was a conversation that Jared wasn't going to enjoy.
"Not long till your school lets out for the holidays," he said, leaning forward and clasping his hands between his knees.
"No, sir," said Jared politely. It was the beginning of a typical 'we're looking for a new place for you' speech, but Jared didn't think that was where it was going this time. Maybe actually having a year-long contract meant something.
"I know you've been talking about going to visit your uncle for the holidays, but we think it would mean a lot to Jensen if you stayed."
"Oh," said Jared. "Oh. Okay."
"I don't know if you realise it, Jared, but you've been good for him. I can see a difference in him these days. It'd be a real blow to have that set back."
Technically, he was asking. He was asking Jared to stay. But Jared was living here and going to school here at the Ackles family's expense, for the sole purpose of being there for Jensen, and he didn't feel like there was any real way he could refuse.
"I didn't really have any plans anyway," he said. He hadn't even told Jeff or Chad he might be coming, just in case. "I just thought maybe, you know. Since I had some time off."
"I promise we'll have a big celebration here," said Mr. Ackles. "Christmas dinner like you wouldn't believe. Maybe Jensen'll even sing some carols with us if we're lucky. Have you ever heard him sing?"
"No, sir," said Jared curiously. "I didn't even know he could."
"He used to, with those friends of his," he said, his voice growing distant for a moment. "Well, thank you for understanding, Jared. You won't regret it. I guess I'd better get on top of my Christmas shopping, huh?"
"Yeah, I guess I'd better, too," said Jared faintly, though he'd already picked up the gifts that mattered. He guessed, if he was sticking around, he was going to need a few more. "Was there anything else?"
"No, no, I need to get back to work," said Mr. Ackles. "I'm speaking in Toronto next week. Just let us know if you have any Christmas traditions, Jared. We want you to feel at home."
"Whatever you do will be fine," said Jared, and held his sigh until Mr. Ackles had left the room.
Maybe him being there really was doing Jensen a lot of good; it was hard to know when Jared hadn't known him before, and could only really knew what Jensen was like when he was with him. But considering how seldom Jensen's parents spent any time with him, he would've thought it'd be hard for them to tell too.
:::
They did try, and the truth was that it was a better Christmas than he'd had most years of his life, but in the afternoon, when Jensen had curled up with a new book and his parents were busy in the kitchen fixing dinner, Jared shut himself up in his room and opened his curtains and pulled out his phone.
"Hello?"
He almost cried just at the sound of Uncle Jeff's voice. "Hey," he said, his voice cracking even over just that one syllable. "Uh, hey, Merry Christmas."
"Jared?"
"Yeah," he said, clearing his throat this time. "I... God, I wish I was there."
There was silence for a moment, then Jared was sure he heard Jeff clearing his throat too before he tried to speak. "It's a lot quieter here without you, that's for sure."
"Did you get my presents?" he said. "For you and the girls?"
"Sure did," said Jeff. "I think they're playing with their toys right now." He wasn't even lying; Jared was sure he heard a distinctive squeak in the background. "What about you? Everything arrive on time?"
"I opened them first thing this morning, before I went downstairs. Just in case... I mean, I didn't want to cry in front of them."
"Jared--"
"I really wish I'd been able to come, Jeff. I really wanted to."
"You'd've been snowed in anyway, Jared," he said with a heavy sigh. "We got a heavy one last night. There'll be other chances."
"It was supposed to be our first Christmas as a family."
"Still is," said Jeff, "even if you're there and I'm here." It couldn't be the same as being together, but him saying that, it really was something. "It's still Christmas, and you're still family."
If he was trying to keep Jared from crying, he was doing a damn poor job of it.
"Tell me what it's like up there right now," he said. "Tell me what your Christmas is like."
"Well, it's awfully white," said Jeff, which was a lot more than Jared could say about Vancouver. "I haven't had a tree in a few years but I got one this year. Didn't have much to decorate it with, but it looks all right."
He didn't say it, but Jared suddenly wondered if Jeff got a tree for the first time in years just in case Jared came home.
"It's crazy, how many decorations they put up here," he told him in return. "The tree and the whole house and the garden and lights, like, everywhere."
"Sounds like something you'd see on TV."
"It really, really is," said Jared. That, actually, had been his first thought to. "They, um. They tried to do something nice for me. Like, do some of my traditions too? Except I don't have any. Mr. and Mrs. Ackles didn't quite understand, but Jensen got it. Jensen always understands me better."
They were both silent for a moment after that, then Jeff said, "I hope someday we can do something about that."
"We will," said Jared. "Next year there's nothing keeping me from being there with you. I won't care if we get snowed in because I won't want to be anywhere else."
"Well, you'd be welcome," said Jeff. "Everyone would sure be glad to see you."
And Jared would sure be glad to have them too. To have the mountain and the cabin and the girls and the people, but more than anything, he'd be glad to have Uncle Jeff.
"I should get back downstairs," he said reluctantly, "before someone comes looking for me. I just... I miss you."
"Yeah," said Jeff with another heavy sigh. "I miss you too."
:::
"So how many parties did you turn down to be here today?" Jensen asked him, pulling a couple of beers out of the fridge and offering one of them to Jared. "Go on. It's New Year's Eve. If you don't have a drink in your hand, there's something wrong with you."
"Your parents probably wouldn't approve."
"My parents won't be back from Cuba for a week. Unless you're planning to turn on the webcam and drink it in front of them, I think it won't be a problem."
Jared shrugged and twisted the top off the beer. "Just one."
"Fine, just one," said Jensen. "I'm not going to pour it down your throat."
"No, I mean, just one party," said Jared. "I was invited to Katie's New Year's party but I told her I would rather be here."
"You lied to her? At Christmas? You're clearly not the man my parents thought you were."
Jared snorted and carried his beer into the den. "I think everyone figured that out the moment they laid eyes on me," he said. "None of this was quite what they were planning on, I think."
"Shut up, my parents love you," said Jensen. "You're exactly what they wanted."
"I think I've spent, collectively, less than twenty-four hours with your parents since I arrived," said Jared. "They don't even know me. I figured they didn't want to."
"No, its not that," said Jensen, sitting down on the couch with his feet up on the coffee table and gesturing for Jared to join him. "They're just busy people. Dad's lecturing all over the continent now - hell, all over the world - and Mom never did spend all that much time at home. It doesn't mean they don't like you."
"Or you," added Jared.
Jensen just gave him a crooked, knowing smile. "I know that," he said. "You think I don't know my parents love me? My parents adore me. They just don't know what to do with me."
"I can't imagine you were ever really a handful," said Jared. "I mean... before. Before whatever."
"I wasn't," agreed Jensen. "I was a great kid. Almost everything they could've asked for. But that was before." He shrugged and drained a fair amount of his beer. "They don't know what to do with me now. But I know they're trying."
"You're all trying," said Jared. "I mean, right?"
"Sure," said Jensen. "We're all trying. Trying for different things, maybe, but we're trying. Anyway, why the hell didn't you go to Katie's party?"
"And leave you here alone?" said Jared. "Did you really think I was going to do that?"
"You think this would be the first New Year's Eve I spent alone?" said Jensen. "What do you think I did last year?"
"Well, I figured your parents...."
"Were in Australia," said Jensen. "It's tradition, for the family to go away at New Year's." Jared didn't even have to make his argument this time; Jensen caught his look. "I insisted, Jared. If I'd asked them to stay, they would've stayed. I didn't want them to. They need to get away."
"Well, I didn't want to go to her party anyway."
Well, there was one little reason he might've wanted to go to the party, but it wasn't - quite - enough to make him change his mind about spending the holiday with Jensen.
"Bullshit," said Jensen. "Did my parents tell you you had to stay here? Did they make you?"
"They don't make me do anything," said Jared. "They just... suggested...." That didn't actually make it sound any better, though, and he knew it before the words were even out of his mouth. "I'm sorry, that's not what I mean."
"No, it is," said Jensen. "It's exactly what you mean. Well, I am giving you permission to go. I don't need a babysitter, Jared. What am I going to do, wander away?"
"Shut up," said Jared. "I want to be here. You ever think maybe I wanted to spend my New Year's Eve with you?"
"No," said Jensen. "No, I never for a minute thought that. Because I am, in fact, a very smart man. If you're worried I'll tell them, I'm not going to do that. They're not even going to ask. But if they did, I could lie and say you were here all night."
"No," said Jared. "Come on, Jensen, no. I made my own decision, all right? And if I have to be in the city for the holidays, I'm glad I'm at least spending them with you. It would be weird, spending them with anyone else."
"Okay, but next year, next year promise me you'll go to a big New Year's party. Something with hats and champagne and... blowy things," said Jensen. "Promise me that and I'll get off your case and just let you enjoy your evening in with me."
"Maybe next year we both will," said Jared. "Yeah, okay, I promise."
"Don't hold your breath," said Jensen, but true to his word he didn't bring it up the rest of the night.
Next Part | Master Post
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2010-05-04 11:12 pm (UTC)Truly.
I just stop by in my way to the next part to say that maybe, on the part where you say that Mr Singer is a masochist you might want to say that he is a sadist. You know, as masochists are the ones who like to receive pain while the sadists are the ones that like to inflict pain...
Having said that, off I go *beams* Bye.
no subject
Date: 2010-05-04 11:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-05-05 02:05 am (UTC)Maybe if you add a bit with one of the guys correcting him?
Sorry, I'll stop now. I'll keep reading.
See ya on the next parts...
no subject
Date: 2012-02-22 09:48 pm (UTC)jared god boy