(no subject)

[cjmarlowe]

It's now about a month and a half until our department's official layoff date, and I think it's just now starting to become real. Two people are already gone, and we weren't a large department to begin with. Another two will be gone before the end of June, and the rest on July 7th.

And I'm still here.

And I just feel so shitty that of everyone here I'm the only person to survive the layoff. Everyone I know here, all of my friends, are going to be gone and I'll still be here and I should be glad I still have a job but I don't feel good about it at all. I'll be shuffled into a new department and I feel like I'm losing everything that I liked about this job and keeping everything that I didn't.

And for the next month and a half I have to come in every day and face these people and feel so damn guilty that I still have a job. Not that anyone's making me feel that way, I just do. It doesn't seem right.

And tonight, instead of working in an environment that I'm familiar with, there are all these strangers moving their things in because we aren't even gone yet but they've already reallocated half our space. And there are strangers in my space and it's just. It's genuinely upsetting to me. There are strangers moving into my space and nothing's ever going to be the same again.

I feel like I'm on the cusp of a long-overdue breakdown, not just because of this but because of a lot of things that I haven't really been dealing with lately.

ETA: The new people shared their pizza with us. This goes a long way towards a good future relationship. :)

Comments

[franklymydear.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Transitions are hard. Especially when you have to lose people like that :(

[deensey.livejournal.com]

It doesn't sound like a good sort of adjustment period. Though pizza does help.